WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.656 --> 00:00:04.806 >> Meet Joe and Sara Zesski. 2 00:00:04.896 --> 00:00:07.746 >> I am a wife and a mother who currently works 3 00:00:07.886 --> 00:00:10.486 as a victim witness advocate 4 00:00:10.776 --> 00:00:13.686 for the Mercer County Prosecutor's Office 5 00:00:13.846 --> 00:00:14.566 in New Jersey. 6 00:00:14.716 --> 00:00:17.906 >> I work for the Northeast ADA Center. 7 00:00:18.506 --> 00:00:24.036 I have been in the disability field for a long time. 8 00:00:24.336 --> 00:00:26.356 >> The Zesskis live full lives, 9 00:00:26.356 --> 00:00:28.486 between juggling busy work schedules, 10 00:00:28.486 --> 00:00:30.586 their family, and other demands. 11 00:00:30.996 --> 00:00:33.336 Another factor is their disabilities. 12 00:00:33.766 --> 00:00:36.506 >> We both struggle with life/work balance, 13 00:00:37.546 --> 00:00:42.016 and both in the same way, because we're both professionals 14 00:00:42.186 --> 00:00:47.746 who put a lot of personal value 15 00:00:47.846 --> 00:00:51.146 on doing a good job as a professional. 16 00:00:51.576 --> 00:00:54.486 And, I think that's part of how we were raised. 17 00:00:54.486 --> 00:00:56.976 It's also part, I think for both of us, 18 00:00:56.976 --> 00:01:01.266 comes from having a disability, and when you're a professional 19 00:01:01.266 --> 00:01:04.586 with a disability, though things are, I think getting much better 20 00:01:04.656 --> 00:01:08.716 in the bigger scheme, there's still a lot of feeling 21 00:01:08.716 --> 00:01:11.646 that you have to prove that you're equal to other people 22 00:01:11.646 --> 00:01:12.886 who don't have disabilities. 23 00:01:12.916 --> 00:01:16.816 >> Disability does impact work/life balance, which figures 24 00:01:16.816 --> 00:01:21.316 in not only work and family, but also self-care and leisure. 25 00:01:21.596 --> 00:01:25.126 For instance, while Joe works remotely from home many days, 26 00:01:25.456 --> 00:01:28.726 when he does go to the office, at the ADA Center's affiliate 27 00:01:28.996 --> 00:01:30.706 in New Jersey, Resources 28 00:01:30.706 --> 00:01:33.326 for Independent Living, it takes a long time. 29 00:01:33.806 --> 00:01:36.396 It can take him two hours just to get to work 30 00:01:36.716 --> 00:01:39.956 because he doesn't drive, compared to 35 minutes 31 00:01:40.026 --> 00:01:42.026 for someone driving door-to-door. 32 00:01:42.026 --> 00:01:43.666 Or, when they were looking for a home, 33 00:01:43.666 --> 00:01:46.006 they needed to not only find a place that was accessible 34 00:01:46.006 --> 00:01:47.686 for Sara, but also 35 00:01:47.686 --> 00:01:50.356 on a paratransportation route for Joe. 36 00:01:50.676 --> 00:01:54.076 >> Some days, I mean, some days we're able to work together 37 00:01:54.516 --> 00:01:57.296 to create that work/life balance, so, you know, 38 00:01:57.296 --> 00:01:59.746 we're on a committee together at church. 39 00:02:00.386 --> 00:02:02.656 So, it's-- and it's an opportunity for us 40 00:02:02.656 --> 00:02:08.196 to be doing something that is service-related. 41 00:02:08.526 --> 00:02:12.146 It's leisure in some way, but we're doing it together 42 00:02:12.496 --> 00:02:14.656 so we have that family connection. 43 00:02:15.236 --> 00:02:20.396 >> One practice that I have is to try 44 00:02:20.496 --> 00:02:23.886 to keep boundaries as much as possible. 45 00:02:24.436 --> 00:02:29.276 With my kind of work, my hours, they vary, 46 00:02:29.586 --> 00:02:31.816 depending on the work load I have at the moment. 47 00:02:32.346 --> 00:02:36.746 And, as much as I possibly can, I try to be mindful of, 48 00:02:36.846 --> 00:02:42.166 you know, at the end of the day, at 5 o'clock, my work needs 49 00:02:42.166 --> 00:02:45.686 to be over for the day, because that starts, really, 50 00:02:45.686 --> 00:02:50.096 my family time that I really need to devote to my family. 51 00:02:50.096 --> 00:02:52.006 >> Everyone has stress in their life. 52 00:02:52.616 --> 00:02:59.936 I think if you show me somebody who doesn't have any kind 53 00:02:59.936 --> 00:03:03.286 of stress in their life, I would say they're not really living. 54 00:03:03.636 --> 00:03:05.906 >> Stress, I try to manage through prayer. 55 00:03:06.646 --> 00:03:10.446 For me, that's sort of the place, when I do that quiet time 56 00:03:10.506 --> 00:03:12.216 for prayer, that I manage stress. 57 00:03:12.866 --> 00:03:18.566 That, and when I take time to, not shut off mentally, but just, 58 00:03:18.856 --> 00:03:23.046 I take that time to read, or just, you know, 59 00:03:23.046 --> 00:03:25.856 watch something silly on TV. 60 00:03:26.196 --> 00:03:31.686 We're people who do enjoy doing things like going to a park. 61 00:03:32.016 --> 00:03:35.716 We have a membership to an organization here 62 00:03:35.716 --> 00:03:37.636 in New Jersey called the Grounds for Sculpture, 63 00:03:38.236 --> 00:03:39.956 that's fairly near to our house. 64 00:03:40.276 --> 00:03:42.306 We enjoy walking those grounds. 65 00:03:42.306 --> 00:03:46.356 >> I can make a plan, and I can have a day of what I want to do. 66 00:03:46.656 --> 00:03:49.976 But, if something happens in one of those areas 67 00:03:50.036 --> 00:03:53.316 that becomes the priority, I can be flexible. 68 00:03:53.316 --> 00:03:55.126 I can change it around. 69 00:03:55.126 --> 00:03:57.396 I can adapt to it. 70 00:03:57.556 --> 00:03:59.676 And, when you grow up with a disability, 71 00:04:00.216 --> 00:04:02.446 that's one of the things you have to learn. 72 00:04:02.446 --> 00:04:06.306 You're either, you know, curled up in a ball, in bed, 73 00:04:06.586 --> 00:04:08.286 giving up on life, or you're adapting.